Peptobismol

"What a huge Harvest! And how few the harvest hands.
So on your knees; ask the God of the Harvest to sent harvest hands."
(Luke 10:2 MSG)

Today I had a real 'Pepto' moment.
Amy and I like to go the the Saturday evening service of our church. And since today is Saturday we found ourselves out in Barrington once again. We came in fashionably late, after dropping of Judah in Promisland, and enjoyed the remainder of the worship time. I love worshiping God, there is nothing like being in his presence together with Amy. Anyway, we are in a sermon series called enough. Dave Ramsey will close this series next week, but today Bill preached about giving. It was great to be challanged once again to surrender our finances over to God.
Yet today it wasnt the worship or the preaching that God used to speak to me. No, it was these, what most would consider 'boring' 15 minutes where Bill went over some business aspects of being a church. He talked about some of the ministries and the leadership involved etc. Really, come to think of it, it has to be boring if you are not interested in that aspect of a church.
I am married to a wonderful and patient wife that supports me in all my moments. She really supports me, yet I am also married to a very, very accomplished women. Who has a very strong calling on her life. This is very humbling and sometimes even depressing when I focus on myself. Don't get me wrong I wouldn't trade her for anything.
The thing is...... I have been struggling with a sense of purpose for the last months if not years. I think my greatest struggle has been in the fact that I have all these interests and talents that don't really lead in a specific direction and so I don't seem to go anywhere. To be honest I have struggled with God many times just to have him point me in one clear direction. Like Amy had when she heard him say that he had called her to be a doctor. Yet I never seemed to get it right. I still don't know what I will be when I grow up. So in all this unrest in my soul I am learning to rely on Him and on His faithfulness. I am learning to remain peaceful and greatful for where ever I am and will be in life. Yet I struggle. I struggle weekly, no daily, with a longing to have clarity over my future. Hanging out with all those moms everyday isn't the easiest thing for a man, at least not for me. I don't mean this disrespectful but I simply am not wired for having just that. So I want more, or something else. questions like 'Where will i be in four years?' or 'What am i going to do these four years?' or even 'What do I want do do in live?, and 'Who do I want to be?' hovered in the back of my mind. It was eating me.
Today while Bill was doing his business talk I heard it as clear as I have heard Him speak to me "You are created to minister." Now don't get me wrong, nothing changed in my life, but there is this peace that came with it. You know, that moment where nothing really changes but all the unrest is settled Just like a Peptobismol to a stomach. I know that I have always done a lot of ministry and knew that I always would, but this was different. This wasn't about something I would do this is about who I am. I haven't got a clue what this means in the near or far future. I don't know what I need to do next. But I do understand now better than before that everything in my life has led up to this as preparation. And I am sure that I will need a whole lot more of preparing. I just find it nice, no soothing to know that I belong somewhere in that plan of His. It finally traveled the longest distance in the world, 18 inches or so. From my head to my heart. As I am sure it will have to do a dozen times more. Thank God for His faithfulness.